The Wait Is Worth It

How does one get someone to do something that the person wants to do, but is too scared to do it?

If I knew the answer to that question, life would be so much better right now.

I've been in love (the real love) with my friend for over 2 years now. We spend most of our free time together, hanging out, going to movies, bars, dinners, spending each others birthdays with only each other, etc. We text and talk on the phone daily about anything and everything. I have helped her financially and emotionally over the years and she has been there for me in my times of need.

And although we have this picture perfect relationship, it's still only a friendship. Neither one of us is in the dreaded "friend-zone" and we both have said how perfect each other is. The love is there on both sides, but she is scared.

Not scared of losing a great friend if the relationship didn't work out, because no matter what, I will still be her friend to the end. There's just something about a real lasting relationship that scares her.

During these 2+ years, she has had a couple boyfriends, but she only gets with them because she knows the relationship won't last/work. She's ass backwards. Instead of going for the one that she knows will work, she goes after the ones that she knows won't.

I support her no matter what she decides to do, because all I want for her is to be happy. So I continue to wait for her to either get over her fear, or tell me to fuck off.

A lot of these lyrics are from text messages I have sent to her.

The Wait Is Worth It
Brad Matosky


I knew it the moment I met you.
You were the one in my dreams.
I tried my best for your attention,
But it wasn't enough it seemed.

A great thring grew,
A friend through and through.
A friend I'll always be there for.

Every minute spent together,
Is a minute for the better,
While I quietly wait for more.




I know I found somebody special.
I know you're the only one that can make me feel the way I do.
I know you're the only one for me baby.
I'll never love anyone the way I love you.

I've been here since the beginning,
I'll be here till the last breath is gone.
I pray that one day we will be together.
Though some say I should move on.

The wait is worth it.



I know you're scared of failing.
Well baby, I'm scared too.
We've both been hurt many times before,
But it's a risk I want to take with you.

You've opened my heart,
Got rid of the dark.
Cast all my fears away.

You showed me a side
I held deep down inside
So baby please say:



I know I found somebody special.
I know you're the only one that can make me feel the way I do.
I know you're the only one for me baby.
I'll never love anyone the way I love you.

I've been here since the beginning,
I'll be here till the last breath is gone.
I prayed that one day I would have someone like you.
I'm sorry I made you wait so long.

The wait is worth it.

The Muslim Belief

I received an email today, and I thought I should show everyone this.



Muslim belief


This is a true story.

The man who walks with God always gets to his destination. If you
have a pulse you have a purpose.

The Muslim religion is the fastest growing religion per capita in the United
States, especially in the minority races!!! Last month I attended my

annual training session that's required for maintaining my state prison
security clearance. During the training session there was a presentation
by three speakers representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant and Muslim
faiths, who explained each of their beliefs.

I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had to say. The
Imam gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a
video. After the presentations, time was provided for questions and answers.

When it was my turn, I directed my question to the Imam and asked:
'Please, correct me if I'm wrong,but I understand that most Imams and
clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy war] against the infidels of
the world and, that by killing an infidel, (which is a command to all Muslims)
they are assured of a place in heaven. If that's the case, can you give me
the definition of an infidel?'

There was no disagreement with my statements and,without hesitation, he
replied, 'Non-believers!'
I responded, 'So, let me make sure I have this straight. All followers of
Allah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not of your faith so they
can have a place in heaven. Is that correct?'

The expression on his face changed from one of authority and command to
that of a little boy who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.'

He sheepishly replied, 'Yes.'

I then stated, 'Well, sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine Pope John
Paul commanding all Catholics to kill those of your faith or Dr. Stanley
ordering all Protestants to do the same in order to guarantee them a place
in heaven!'

The Imam was speechless!

I continued, 'I also have problem with being your friend when you and
your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me! Let me ask you a
question:

Would you rather have your Allah, who tells you to kill me in order for
you to go to heaven, or my Jesus who tells me to love you because I am
going to heaven and He wants you to be there with me?'

You could have heard a pin drop as the Imam hung his head in shame.
Needless to say, the organizers and/or promoters of the Diversification'
training seminar were not happy with my way of dealing with the
Islamic Imam , and exposing the truth about the Muslims' beliefs.

In twenty years there will be enough Muslim voters in the U.S. to elect
the President! I think everyone in the U.S. and Canada should be
required to read this, but with the ACLU, there is no way this will be
widely publicized,unless each of us send it on!

This is your chance to make adifference...

FOR GODS' SAKE! SEND THIS ON!

For some of you, you may have seen this as a "Hell yeah! Go Jesus!" or "Damn Muslims!", but I want to point out that even though this says "True Story" at the top, it most certainly is not.

The reason that this is not a true story, is because if he actually asked the Islamic Imam if all Muslims are/were commanded to kill all Infidels, (non believers) Imam would have told him "NO".

No where in the Qur'an does it say that all Muslims must kill all non believers. It does however have a verse that many have taken as saying so. Even some Muslims have taken it to mean to kill.

2:190 - And fight in the cause of Allah with those who fight with you...

And here is the "dumb down" version, kinda like the Christian NIV version of KJ.

2:190 - You may fight in the cause of GOD (Allah) against those who attack you...

What comes after the ... I will get to shortly.

It is quite clear that fighting is to be done in self-defense. Now, anyone can commit acts of terror and aggression and say, "It's in self-defense." In fact, that is precisely what Al Qaeda is doing. They claim by killing 3,000 people in New York City, Pennsylvania and Washington, D.C., they are "defending" the Muslim nation against "Zionist and Crusader" aggression against the Muslims."

Now for what comes after the ...

2:190 (cont) - and do not exceed the limits, surely Allah does not love those who exceed the limits.

Again in the "dumb down" text.

2:190 (cont) - but do not commit aggression, for verily, God (Allah) does not love aggressors.

It then goes on to say in verse 2:191-195...

2:191 - "And kill them wherever you find them, and drive them out from whence they drove you out, and persecution is severer than slaughter, and do not fight with them at the Sacred Mosque until they fight with you in it, but if they do fight you, then slay them; such is the recompense of the unbelievers."

2:192 - "But if they desist, then surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful."

2:193 - "And fight with them until there is no persecution, and religion should be only for Allah, but if they desist, then there should be no hostility except against the oppressors."

2:194 - "The Sacred month for the sacred month and all sacred things are (under the law of) retaliation; whoever then acts aggressively against you, inflict injury on him according to the injury he has inflicted on you and be careful (of your duty) to Allah and know that Allah is with those who guard (against evil)."

2:195 - "And spend in the way of Allah and cast not yourselves to perdition with your own hands, and do good (to others); surely Allah loves the doers of good."

I am not going to give you the "dumb down" version because this is pretty black and white.

They are not commanded to kill any non Muslim. They are commanded to fight back when oppressed, and to do so with Allah in mind. Do not exceed the punishment they give to them, for they will have to answer to Allah when they die. Which is far worse than what any mere mortal can do.

Most of the Muslim attacks are based on retaliation for attacks and oppression against them. But the ones like 9/11 and such, are from those that got spoon fed the wrong translation of the verse, from Osama.

Blame not the religion, but blame those that use religion as their weapon blindly.

And He Is Back, Ladies And Gentlemen!

I'm sorry for the long hiatus. Lost my job. Lost my apartment. Lost my car. Lost my sanity there for a minute. Though I am finally working again, and now have my internet back.

So keep checking for new blogs.

For Whoever Saves One Life, Saves The World Entire

Ever take the time to think about life and death? I mean really think about it? Religion and science aside, just life and death and how the earth continues to spin even if your world stops?

The other day, I was riding along with a friend and we drove past a cemetery, where at least a hundred people were gathered for the funeral of a loved one. For these people, their world stopped spinning. Time stopped. It was just them and their friend/father/mother/grandmother/grandfather/son/daughter/whomever, being lowered into the ground.

But my world wasn't effected and continued to spin.

The life of one individual is now a part of history. Whether their name will be forgotten once the present family goes, or they did something to have their name immortalized, the fact is, is that they are gone. And had I not driven by, I would have not even known that someones world stopped spinning.

This reminded me that I need to live my life. My world is still spinning, and I need/want to make my life memorable. I don't care if I do something that immortalizes my name for the rest of time, as long as my life is spent doing things that not only better myself, but for at least one other person.

A line from the movie Schindler's List, originally in the Talmud, "For whoever saves one life, saves the world entire", is something I would like to live by.

If I can make the life of one person better, help them get past a struggle, then I can die a happy man. I don't want to do it just to make myself seem better than others, seem like some glorified gold medal winner, it's just a personal gain for myself. It makes me happy to make others happy. And if I can help make the life of one person better, I help make their whole world better.

When my world stops spinning, I want everyone's world to keep spinning.

Take 2 Of These And Drool In The Morning

Psychologists and Psychiatrists have always been thought to bring yourself back to "normal", if you will. Psychologists will ask you series of questions to see what your mental ailment is, then give you a long list of psychiatrists that will aid you on your road to recovery, a "middle man" sort of speak. You speak with the psychiatrists once or twice a week, talking about whats wrong with your head, ways to overcome your problems, etc, etc. The psychiatrist reports to the psychologist on your progress or other symptoms that they may have missed. Then the psychologists prescribes the appropriate medication. Continue therapy until all is well again.

Sounds simple and very helpful right?

Wrong.

The only time this is actually effective, is if there is a real "Chemical Imbalance" in the brain. Then the medication is used to correct that imbalance. Other than that, millions of people are diagnosed with bullshit mental disorders, put on ridiculous medication, then evaluated like a lab rat, all because they feel a little unhappy with themselves or they are thinkers, and are misjudged as being ADD.

When my generation was growing up, there were 2 major advancements in mental disorders. They came up with, people that have a hard time concentrating or sitting still (most common in children) had Attention Deficit Disorder, or ADD for short. Seemed very logical, especially with the 2 first words of the disorder, "Attention Deficit".

ADD is real. Some people just cant focus for more than a few seconds without the mind wandering or fidgeting in their seats. The medications for it, like Ritalin, were made to help those that actually couldn't concentrate on a normal level. But since 90% of all kids hate sitting still, ADD was the answer to all the parents prayers. Then almost every kid was "ADD", and was on Ritalin or some variation of.

Ever realize that kids are very fidgety to begin with? Kids don't like to sit still because they want to play, laugh, have fun. Not sit and listen to a teacher talk about liquid, solid and vapor are the 3 forms of water. Booooorrrriiiinnngggg stuff to an elementary student. Now little Johnny is a drooling fool in the corner of the class room, hopped up on Ritalin.

Parents never noticed the difference. All they would have to do, is watch their child play. If a kid plays with legos for hours on end, that doesn't show a sign of "Attention Deficit". Plays video games for long periods of time. Plays with other kids, doing make believe scenes. Hmm, maybe they weren't ADD. Maybe they were just a regular KID.

And today's remedy for ADD in adults is Zoloft. The miracle drug, which is just Ritalin but stronger, makes adults concentrate better so they can work more effectively. Also is used to battle depression. If it's not an actual chemical imbalance, all you are doing is pumping medication into a body that doesn't need it. Now you have a person walking around that was just depressed about bills, to being carefree and annoying.

The other breakthrough was that, "The reason you act out in school or at home was because your mother or father was always working or not around. No stable motherly or fatherly figure in your household." Typical response to this was, "So that's why Billy always tortured cats! His mother was at work! Thank you so much Doc! I can pick up the Ritalin prescription at the receptions window on the way out, right?"

This scenario, can better be told by Doug Stanhope. He is a stand up comedian that has a lot of good points on a lot of different subjects. At the 1:46 mark, is where this scenario takes place.



Maybe your kid was experimenting? Or is naturally just an evil little shit head? I can understand relationship issues later on, sure. Mother left the family when you were young and now you have a hard time trusting women. Or your dad left, and you can't trust guys. That's totally right. But to try and say that everything we do in our lives is a direct result of a dysfunctional family or a perfect family that believed in corporal punishment, is ludicrous.

I have an occasional anger problem, very mild and very rare, but if something gets to me so much that I punch a wall or a pillow (never a person, unless its that person that pissed me off and they deserve it), it has nothing to do with how my mom raised me. I came from a functional family. It was just me and my mom. My father left before I was born, so it wasn't like I was traumatized by him leaving. So it wasn't dysfunctional. I got the occasional spankings, but there was never violence in the home, no screaming, no nothing. So to say my anger comes from my adolescent years is bullshit. Same for millions of other people that have been told that something in their childhood home life, caused them to have certain outbursts.


Now lets progress into present day. Now the new "answer" is Bipolar Disorder, or otherwise known as, Manic Depressive. This disorder has been around a while, but has recently become very popular. And again, there are real cases of this disorder, more common in adults. This disorder effects the persons ability to control emotions. One minute they are happy, the next angry, the next sad, then they cry, then they are happy again. In most cases, a person has more problems with "highs" and "lows". Being on the "high" (manic) side, gives you an endless supply of energy, and nothing really bothers you all that much. The "low" side is no energy and depressed. The brain just cant find the middle, and will switch back and forth rapidly or slowly. Some people remain manic for days at a time, then their brain will switch to the low side for a few days. Some cases even weeks.

So now, anyone that has a mood swing is bipolar. Just as it was with ADD, bipolar is the reason for your qwerks. What was once just for adults that couldn't keep control on their emotions, turned into every adult that had a mood swing. Then it branched into the children. While some kids are bipolar, the vast majority are not. But the psychologists and psychiatrists think differently.

The medications for bipolar can leave you in a state of zombie. Mostly sedatives that make you a drooling fool. "Normal" is what the doctors call it. They figure if you don't have excessive energy, and are too sedated to be depressed, you are cured. So long as you stay on the medication. Once people realized they were living the life of a zombie, the doctors started prescribing mood stabilizers. Lithium, for example. Lithium counteracts the manic and depression bouts. But the side effects on it are very staggering. Common side effects of lithium treatment include muscle tremors, twitching, ataxia, hyperparathyroidism, bone loss, hypercalcemia, hypertension, kidney damage, nephrogenic diabetes insipidus (polyuria and polydipsia), arrhythmias, muscle weakness, tremor, lethargy, cognitive blunting, headaches, and seizures. Not a very healthy alternative. So doctors prescribe dozens of other medications to counteract those side effects. Depakote, Neurontin, Abilify and Seroquel are the most common.

So now you are taking 10 pills 3 times a day for the rest of your life. That's not fair to a child that was misdiagnosed because he had a mood swing, or is going through their junior high depression. Or to an adult that was misdiagnosed. Most kids go through a bout of depression during junior high. Small portions of the real world mixed with the stress of "fitting in" causes tremendous grief on a kid. So yeah, they are going to get depressed for a while. That doesn't mean make them drool like an idiot and take a ton of pills to correct it.

So from the examples I have given, it's easily understandable that maybe these psychologists and psychiatrists are using these disorders for profitable gains. Instead of treating just those that are chemically imbalanced, they treat everyone that comes in their offices like they do. Even I was diagnosed with a chemical imbalance. I was never given an MRI or a blood test or anything. They just instantly assumed I had the imbalance. How scientifically sound is that? So a psychologist got paid very nicely by my mother for a chemical imbalance he assumed I had, and the psychiatrist made out like a bandit too. Not too mention the drug companies that make mass money on the deals with these doctors offices for them to distribute them.

Time to wake up and realize that we are normal people with depression, or just cant concentrate because the stuff we are doing is too boring. Don't be a sucker for these diagnoses right away. Make sure that you are properly tested for Bipolar Disorder and ADD.

Evolution By Creation?

In over all of the debates of "Creation Vs. Evolution", I have come to see a way that both exist. This is coming from a religious perspective. This is just a theory of mine. Hopefully this may settle the debate.

Evolution, as we all know, is the process of growth and adaptation, starting from the single cell to the animals and sea creatures we know today.

Creation, is the belief of a "Higher Power" creating and designing the earth and all life on it.

This debate has been going on since Charles Darwin gave us his theory in his book "The Origin Of Species". This debate has divided people, since the origin of man is a major belief and concept for many people. The religious say the Bible is right, and that God created everything. Whereas evolution, which does not say that God doesn't exist, says that everything evolved from single celled organisms. Thus bringing about a massive debate that has turned friends against each other. Brought even more division amongst those that are religious, and those that are atheist, agnostic, etc.

Even I once was against evolution. I believed that God created everything. I understand also that the earth was not created in 6 days, 6000 years or any other small number, because of fossils, and the time line within the Bible is longer than 6000 years anyway. This made a conflict with me on how long has the earth been here? How long has man been here? Evolution must have some truths to it, especially with time lines and such. That explains the dinosaur bones we have discovered. They are far older than 6000 years.

In my research of the Bible, have noticed a few lines of verse that suggests that maybe, just maybe, that Creation and Evolution are one in the same.

What if God created the earth, then used evolution to progress all the creatures?

And another Question, did man evolve or was he created?

To answer the first question, I have noticed in the writing of Genesis, that it is worded in a way that allows evolution to be the way things came about.

Genesis 1:20 (KJV) And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.

"Let the waters bring forth" shows that God may have placed the single cell organisms in the ocean, and then evolution took over, and produced all the sea creatures. (How "fowls" come from the ocean is beyond me, and may be another blog later, but lets focus on the water.) So now we have all water life flourishing. Growing. Evolving. Since this happened in day 5 of the creation of earth, and we all know that our "day" is not the same as God's "day", this allows the time line of fossils and such to fit nicely here.

The next verse is, Genesis 1:21 (KJV) And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

The devout, hardcore, Christians will take that as "God created all the sea life and birds. So evolution didn't happen." It does say that, but with the verse prior, even with the evolutionary process, God still created, through evolution.

And again with the beasts of the land, as in, Genesis 1:24 (KJV) And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.

Again, it is worded that the land brings forth the life, just as the waters brought forth life. The single cell organisms on earth grew and evolved into many creatures.

And again, the next verse says God created. Genesis 1:25 (KJV) And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

Like I said above, the hardcore Christian can use that as definitive proof of God creating all. But the verse prior allows the evolutionary process to occur. This was the 6th day, and again the time lines and fossils, allow it to fit. There is another thing that happened in the 6th day, that I will get to shortly.

So just like in the evolution process described from "The Origin Of Species", a sea creature eventually evolved into some form that allowed it to come out of the water onto the land. Along the theories, that creature may have mated with another creature that was already on land. Thus progressing evolution, and the coming of new species. Possibly, reptiles and other like creatures.

Hopefully I have made sense so far.

Back to the 6th day, the second question, "Did man evolve or was he created?", comes around. I can only give a religious answer to this. Once science can prevail and find that missing link, my faith is all I have to go on for this answer.

Unlike the 2 verses that gave the opening for evolution to occur, the verse on man is worded that we were created.

Genesis 1:26 (KJV) And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Also repeated again, Genesis 2:7 (KJV) And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

It is written specifically, that God created man. God did not call upon the earth or the waters to bring forth man. Nor does it say for man to come from the beast on earth. Without the difference in wording, there is no room for evolution.

If science can find the missing link, I may have to rethink about the origin of man. Until then, this is the closest to any (religion included) logical explanation that I can live with comfortably, to evolution and creation.

Bail Me Out

So we have already had the $700 billion dollar buy out of the banks. Now the top 3 car companies are wanting a bailout of their own as well. The car companies only want the money because they don't like having to have private liquidators come in and sell their cars at wholesale, instead of making their big profits off retail. Boo hoo.

If this car bailout happens, this allows the companies to remain selling their cars, trucks and SUV's at the standard high prices of retail, with no benefit to the consumer. The recession has put a lock down on the average American household, making it hard enough to update their cars if and when their present one breaks down. Now the car companies just want to make their money instead of possibly catering to the needs of the people, reduce their prices, get a massive influx of customers purchasing cars, and continue to make their profits. Can't have that now can we? It just makes too much sense.

How about instead of bailing out these upper .3%, rich, overpaid people, you bailout the people? Give us the money so we can pay off our loans and car needs. Bailing out the companies does nothing for the economy, since the common people are not spending money. If the people don't spend money, the economy continues to sink. Pandering to these rich companies so they don't go belly up, just keeps their prices high, thus keeping the people from buying anything.

We need the money. We are the ones that are broke. The ones receiving the bailouts, already have millions upon millions of dollars safely secured in their bank accounts. They are not hurting. Their business may be, but not their wallets. If they go belly up, guess what? They still have millions of dollars to sleep on every night for the rest of their lives, their kids lives, and in some cases their great grandchildrens lives.

Stop giving handouts to the rich, when we are the ones that broke ourselves making them rich. We are the ones that deserve the $700 billion dollar buyout.